The news in brief:
Pro tip: The Onion is not a real newspaper
Despicable crimes outlined for your ghoulish amusement
Science starting to kick cancer’s arse
Two wrongs apparently make a right now?!
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Apparently being a little bit rude is a crime?
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Bureaucracy: 0, Common sense: 1
Equality not that hard to understand
Usual suspects struggle with the word ‘ceasefire’ again
Economy still pretty fucked
“Man quite likes pie” is totally NOT news
Remember 1997? Allegedly England was a nightmarish Orwellian
dictatorship?
Audi brings the roof down
Noisy neighbour’s sentence a bit too harsh
Rapist’s sentence no where near harsh enough
Government a bit heavy handed
Minor customer service snafu blown out of all proportion
One trick pony plans to limp out of the barn again
Stop babying your kids, you bunch of soft shits
Cats will kill us all
Nudes in brief: Kylie Jenner
And finally: if someone identifies as a woman, inverted
commas around the word ‘she’ is just a little bit cuntish
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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