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Monday 1 June 2015

The news in brief 1st June 2015



The news in brief:

Pro tip: The Onion is not a real newspaper

Despicable crimes outlined for your ghoulish amusement

Science starting to kick cancer’s arse

Two wrongs apparently make a right now?!

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Apparently being a little bit rude is a crime?

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Bureaucracy: 0, Common sense: 1

Equality not that hard to understand

Usual suspects struggle with the word ‘ceasefire’ again

Economy still pretty fucked

“Man quite likes pie” is totally NOT news

Remember 1997? Allegedly England was a nightmarish Orwellian dictatorship?

Audi brings the roof down

Noisy neighbour’s sentence a bit too harsh   

Rapist’s sentence no where near harsh enough

Government a bit heavy handed

Minor customer service snafu blown out of all proportion

One trick pony plans to limp out of the barn again

Stop babying your kids, you bunch of soft shits

Cats will kill us all

Nudes in brief: Kylie Jenner

And finally: if someone identifies as a woman, inverted commas around the word ‘she’ is just a little bit cuntish

Reading the news so you don’t have to…

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