The news in brief 31th May 2014

The news in brief extra

Sometimes, just sometimes, the news is mad enough on its own:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/england/10866864/England-fans-paper-plane-hits-Peru-player-during-Wembley-match.html

Enjoy

The news in brief 30th May 2014:

The news in brief:

Nocturnal photons make women fat

Study states the obvious: bread is bad for you

Frenchman proves not all human beings are horrible people

News website indulges in a bit of cyberbullying

Flag-related mishap

Supermarket suggest people might be overreacting

Man invents new way to kick ball

Celebrities upset the Internet

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace 

Newspaper disapproves of actress’ clothes and body

Cower in fear when cows attack!

Police sackings come a little too late

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount 

3D printers not quite ready yet

Farmer sick of man’s shit (man not sick of farmer’s shit) 

MP write strongly-worded letter to racist bus stop

Book literally too good to put down

Looks like we’re going to have some weather

Fast food probably still bad for you

Immigration paranoia tears family apart

Economy a bit less shit

Man acts like a prick on the Internet

Real life tractor beams are a thing now!

Nudes in brief: Jessica Hart

Wet owls are terrifying

Diana Watch 2014: still pretty dead

Reading the news so you don’t have to…

The news in brief 28th and 29th May 2014

The news in brief:

Cynicism increases chances of dementia - The news in brief team somewhat concerned

Psychic Vampires are apparently a thing now

You can fix anything with lasers

Arsehole law continues to treat human beings like shit

Religion's bodycount continues to mount

Study states the obvious: parents should set a good example to their kids

Man's inhumanity to man continues apace

Newsflash: cigarettes are bad for you

UK still a nation of fatties 

Watching too much pornography makes men think less good

People stop watching shit TV show

Nudes in brief: Scout Willis

Russia/Ukraine situation still ‘very hairy’

PM suggests stoning people to death is a ‘Very Bad Idea’

Medieval morality’s bodycount continues to mount

Thousands gather for decent human being’s funeral

Technical fault leads to incurable case of vertigo

Secret-keepers decide the public can have the gist of the truth

Lying filthy fuck-face found guilty of being a dirty lying fuck-faced bell-end

Customer services tells it like it is

North Korea ‘not as shit as you think’

Aliens probably not invading Solihull

French master the art of back-heeling

Diana Watch 2014: ‘still dead’

Reading the news so you don’t have to…

Breaking news

Breaking news: leggings are not pants

The news in brief 27th May 2014

The news in brief:

Study states the obvious: margarine consumption leads to divorce... wait, what?!

Mufasa has message for Cambridgeshire

State re-adopts medieval attitude to crime and punishment

United Kingdom hails Hydra in the European elections

New York Post tells it like it is

Internet prone to hysterical, half-researched overreaction

Fictional character denied the vote

Real-world superhero actually pretty cool

Health and fucking safety

Couple takes honeymoon shortly after getting married

Woman’s bottom is NOT news

Outcome surprises no-one

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Difficult story has a sad ending

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Looks like we’re going to have some weather

Robot has awesome name

Woman has awesome funeral

Aliens are real! Maybe.

Popular film is pop-u-lar

Nudes in brief: Christina Milian

Just so we’re clear: breastfeeding in public is not the same thing as curling one out in the high street.

Woman’s priorities seem fine to me

Diana Watch 2014: Death documents censored 65 times by Whitehall. Still dead.

Reading the news so you don’t have to…
           

The news in brief 25th May 2014

The news in brief celebrity special:

Wedding happened (along with 115,000 others)

Cardassian Union invades Valinor (or something like that)

Woman wears bikini

Woman wears wedding dress at her wedding

Media acknowledges woman’s mind and accomplishments (I’m as surprised as you are…)

Wild speculation about transport arrangements

Parent parents

Celebrity updates social media

Pregnant woman wears loose fitting clothes

Actress goes outside

Court case secondary to singer’s wardrobe choices

Woman wears dress

Man conforms to media’s narrow definition of beauty

Nudes in brief: Michelle Rodriguez

Nudes in brief: Jasmin Walia

Actress wears dress

Pregnant woman’s body has changed shape

Another actress wears a dress

Woman conforms to media’s narrow definition of beauty

Paparazzi intrudes on family outing

Actress dares to go outside without make-up on

Nudes in brief: Emma Miller

Woman wears strips of cloth, held in place by magic/magnets/force-fields, that I am reliably informed is a dress. Apparently.

Diana Watch 2014: As the news is so keen to remind us at every turn… still dead.

Reading the news so you don’t have to…

  

  

The news in brief 24th May 2014

The news in brief horoscope special:

Taking the horoscopes from two tabloid newspapers and smashing them together just to see what happens? Why not:

Aries: Take a look at yourself - you’re an absolute fuckbag and you need to sort your life out. Try reading a magazine or talking to neighbours. That might help. I guess.

Taurus: You’re a paranoid depressive and you need to sort your life out. But hey, some things you just can’t change, so why try?  

Gemini: People are lying to you but they’re not doing it on purpose – they’re just horrible people. But you’re very adaptable, so you’ll be alright.

Cancer: You’ve got a shitty week ahead and I recommend you start girding your loins about now. You won’t have much time for reflection either, but you’ll live. Probably.    

Leo: You’re boring and repetitive – no wonder your life is a mess. Try doing something interesting once in a while. Besides, you’re bringing everyone else down and you just plain suck.  

Virgo: Chances are your boss is a wanker and there’s nothing you can do about it. Expect a lot of hoops to jump through, but you’ll come through.

Libra: It’s time you realised that you’re a tiny fish in a gigantic ocean and made peace with the fact that in the grand scheme of things you’re pretty insignificant. But you’ve got a holiday coming up so that’s nice.

Scorpio: There’s nothing you can do about your fears, so instead of trying to overcome them, you should learn to live with them. And you’re going to have a lot on your plate this week, so roll up your sleeves ‘fraidy cat.   

Sagittarius: You have no special powers, but you’re really good at putting up with other people’s shit. And that’s sort-of like a special power, isn’t it? And oh my, are you going to have some shit this week. Good luck.

Capricorn: Stop being a gossip-mongering bitch. Put your feet up and relax, you work hard and you’re going to need a plan to get through the coming week.   

Aquarius: The coming week is going to steam-roller the shit out you, so you’d better get ready to take a pounding.  But you’re going to have a lovely day today, so enjoy it whilst it lasts.

Pisces: No useful advice for you, I’m afraid. Be prepared for anything. But there’ll probably be emotional, family issues – maybe. I dunno. I’m not much of a psychic.

Reading the ‘news’ so you don’t have to…

The news in brief 23rd May 2014

The news in brief:

Hooray for democracy!

Man has rare condition

Man demonstrates that not all humans are obnoxious wankers

Quick thinking saves the day

Medieval morality threatens barbaric punishment

Shock: women are human beings too

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Newspaper finds fifty-million year-old gif

Boat found. Sailors still missing :(

Celeb un-says something on Twitter – not sure how many pictures of her half naked are relevant?

Pot calls kettle black

Man learns the difference between ‘reply’ and ‘reply all’

Baby pandas are pretty cute

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Workers told to stop fucking

Nudes in brief: Frankie Sandford      

Pro tip: being ‘media savvy and educated’ is not a bad thing

    

North/South divide strikes again

Newspaper confuses cyberbullying for news

Benefits family’s children named and shamed. (But it’s okay they blurred their faces)

Bureaucracy: 1, Common sense: 0

Suspected cunt surprises no-one

Apparently grown-ups aren’t interested in flavours

Diana Watch 2014: all signs point to dead

Reading the news so you don’t have to…

         

The news in brief 22nd May 2014

The news in brief:

Hooray for democracy (unless it’s raining)

Hollywood types tend to have a lot of money

Vegetable becomes a popular baby name

Chinese media ace at name calling

Cleavage is NOT news

Woman probably shouldn’t have dared the Prime Minister

Cat brings home gift for the family

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Cinema continues its mission to remake every 80s franchise

Fracking (remember that?!) will kill us all

MP swears live on air

Man’s inhumanity to man shows no sign of stopping

Irish pubs are everywhere (except Ireland)

Happy ending to a sad story

Fracking the answer to all our prayers  

Study states the obvious: saving coupons could save you money

Parents prefer a nanny state to, you know, parenting

Remember: everything is someone else’s fault

Things get a bit hairy in the Koreas

Man leaves dark haiku, in the biscuits that he baked, then he quit his job

Man shows us that we are all capable of great kindness

Broadband. On the moon!?

Facebook comes a step closer to becoming Skynet

NHS has odd priorities

Nudes in brief: Amy Childs

Diana Watch 2014: probably still dead

Reading the news so you don’t have to….

  

   

The news in brief 21st May 2014

The news in brief:

Social media site has a pretty reasonable explanation for it faux pas

Turns out the French have a bunch of racist morons too

The Ebola virus is never cool

God gets on board with the whole social media thing

Political party haven’t quite worked out how Twitter works

Cyber criminals cause a hoo-hah

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Study states the obvious: fruit is good for you

Harrogate is quite nice

Nerds everywhere hyperventilate with excitement

Bizarre food issues

Legal business has tasteful adverts

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount 

Straight people continue to undermine the sanctity of marriage

Nudes in brief: Jessica Alba

Woman learns the hard way that brushing is important

Car thief surprisingly good driver

Aliens probably haven’t visited earth

Another benefit scapegoat scare story

Man eats sandwich

Self righteous middle class whiners

Political party continues its mission to offend everyone on earth

Attention-Seeking Hyper-Bitch a teeny bit racist

Google one step closer to being Skynet

Diana Watch 2014: Still ‘dead’

Reading the news so you don't have to... 

The news in brief 20th May 2014

The news in brief:

Who on earth throws a party at 14:30 on a weekday anyway?

Political party continues its missing to offend everyone on earth

Epic selfie

Shrewd kids make a killing with the trading cards

Remember – all men are monsters and all women are helpless victims  

Raphael is cool but rude; Michelangelo is a party dude

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Because it’s totally humane to chain a pregnant woman to a wall…

Social media site has a pretty fucking homophobic moment

Social media website that host the news in brief for free is okay by me *cough* *cough*

Sad story has a bittersweet ending

Man’s inhumanity to cats continues apace

Man’s inhumanity to man shows no signs of stopping either

Or badgers

Coffee set to get pretty fucking expensive

Arsehole father doesn’t know how to dad

Nudes in brief: Rosie Huntington-Whiteley  

Minor celebrity learns that the rules apply to him too

Consenting adults use their home for legal activity

Science is pretty damned cool

Pro tip: when you start working, you’re meant to stop claiming benefits…

Study states the obvious: people are selfish and greedy

Diana Watch 2014: ‘still’ dead

Reading the news so you don’t have to…

The news in brief 19th May 2014

The news in brief:

Armature cyclist learns what handlebars are for

Before time began, there was The Cube

More wild speculation

Bureaucracy: 0, common sense: 1 

Apparently there are still people out there who believe that whole vaccines cause autism thing

Shock: not every teenager on Earth is a hormone-fuelled sex maniac   

Not every granny on earth likes pink wafer biscuits and bingo either

Boy gets part time job

Leonardo leads and Donatello does machines (that’s a fact, Jack)

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Britain set to have some more weather

Turns out snakes will eat anything

Latest faux pas is flat out racist

Mad suggestion that all people might be equal

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Facebook continues its mission to become Skynet

Study states the obvious: salad is good for you

Bureaucratic jobsworths strike again  

Nudes in brief: Charlize Theron

Science is fucking awesome

Prime Minister entirely irrelevant to the story

Diana Watch 2014: probably still dead

Reading the news so you don’t have to…

The news in brief 18th May 2014

The news in brief celebrity special:

BAFTAs less about the British Academy of Film and Television Arts and more about who’s wearing what:

Woman wears silvery dress with fishy bit  

Woman wears white dress with sparkly bits  

Woman wears white dress without sparkly bits  

Woman wears black dress

Woman wears red dress

Woman wears sort-of-dotty dress

Woman wears a different black dress

Woman wears another black dress with grey bits  

Woman wears white and black dress

Woman wears black dress with a jacket  

Woman wears blue dress

Woman wears strips of material posing as a dress  

Editor – god forbid they were in some films or something…

Meanwhile: newspaper doesn’t like singer’s clothes

Woman wears appropriate outfit

Newspaper parades teenage girl like cattle

Man ties hair back whilst doing sports

Actress has the audacity to go out NOT looking glamorous

Celebrity wears casual clothes

Paparazzi catches TV personality putting petrol in her car

Person updates social media

Nudes in brief: Billie Piper

Shock: consenting adult couple have like, totally done it

Diana Watch 2014: still ‘dead’

Reading the news so you don’t have to…

The news in brief 17th May 2014

It is hotter than the surface of the sun :(

The news in brief 16th May 2014

The news in brief:

Medieval morality confuses compassion with fucking great slap in the face

More than loose change down the back of the sofa

Not all humans suck

Donation’s show no sign of stopping

Opinions on crockery masquerading as news

Losing 400,000 listeners is apparently good now?!  

Sad story has a happy ending

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

It probably cheaper to just treat the chickens nicely…

Shock: the Queen is a human being

Study states the obvious: but only because it was in the news this time last year

Healthy food is healthy

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Tiny beads of plastic will kill us all!  

Political party continues its mission to offend everyone of Earth

Common sense: 1, bureaucracy: 0 (maybe)

Nudes in brief: Amy Willerton

Group of adults legally buy drinks – nobody cares

Teacher learns the hard way that ‘black-face’ is NEVER cool

Evil nightmare super-bitch to get what’s coming to her

Meanwhile, another evil nightmare super-bitch doesn’t…  

Attack of the not-killer bees!

Diana Watch 2014: ‘still pretty dead’

Reading the news so you don’t have to…  

The news in brief 15th May 2014

The news in brief: 

Medieval morality: 1, human decency: 0

All around the globe, men still treat women like shit

News outlet enjoys another round of cyberbullying

Teenager suggests she’s not responsible for other people’s thoughts

No shit: exercise is good for you  

Humungous arsehole caught on camera

Storm might finally be abating

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Science suggests you’re all attention-seeking whiners

Middle of May starting to exhibit ‘summer-like symptoms’

Another ‘ghost*’ caught on camera

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Political party fails to practice what it preaches

Expensive houses are expensive

Political party continues its mission to offend everyone on Earth

Nudes in brief: Millie Mackintosh

Disturbing images (followed by warning about disturbing images)

Study states the obvious: Brits like barbeque

Apparently, the Pentagon plans for everything

Man knows how to parent

Someone doesn’t know how to parent

News website doesn’t proof read its homepage

Diana Watch 2014: ‘still dead’

Reading the news so you don’t have to…

*dust particle

The news in brief 14th May 2014

The news in brief:

Film not very good

Nerds are ever satisfied

Man doesn’t learn from all the ‘don’t be a cunt on the Internet’ stories

News outlet engages in a bit of cyberbullying

Blurry shape in the sky probably not aliens (but there sure are a lot of these stories at the minute)

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Not all human beings are despicable thunderturds (rest in peace Stephen)

Woman happy to ruin the film for everyone else

Optimus Prime is looking pretty buff

News website confuses product placement for news…

Economy a bit less shit

Newspaper forgets to use the word ‘allegedly’ in its headlines again

Nudes in brief: Ellie Goulding

Study states the obvious: criminals do illegal stuff

MP suggests ghoulish solution to practical problem

Political correctness gone mad

Remember: all men are monsters and all women are objects of pity

‘Ghost-like vision’ probably not a ghost

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Clowns are terrifying monsters

Birds kinda look alike, maybe

People will complain about anything

Diana Watch 2014: her butler is in the news again. She’s dead.  

Reading the news so you don’t have to…

The news in brief 13th May 2014

The news in brief:

Outrage: pop music a bit raunchy

Russia situation still pretty hairy

No shit: radioactive material is bad for you 

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Bureaucracy: 1, human decency: 0 

Political party not too sure about the definition of ‘freedom’

Condoms are not food

Science is pretty fucking awesome

Bruise looks a bit like an angel

Mole is pretty fucking ugly

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Man knows how to dad

14 lane motorway!!!!!

Supermarkets should probably tell us if there’s stealth religion in our food

Political party wants to make us all slaves – people too lazy to read manifestos

Nudes in brief: Dita Von Teese

Looks like we’re going to have some weather

Buffaloes beat up lions

Health and fucking safety 

Mobile phones will kill us all!

Newspaper gives us its not-so-subtle opinion on equality

Study states the obvious: keeping fit and healthy is good for you

Pope welcomes our Martian brethren to the Catholic church

Diana Watch 2014: still pretty dead

Reading the news so you don’t have to…

The news in brief 12th May 2014 and celebrity special

The news in brief:

Promises sound too good to be true

News outlets struggle with the word ‘allegedly’

Nasa states the obvious

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Giant snake!

The North East is pretty shit, like

Old couple plan to do each other in

People like biscuits

Rubbish TV show to finally end

North East not that bad

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Miracle baby!    

Study states the obvious – beer makes people attractive

Pavement actually pretty obvious

Blurry shape probably not aliens

Burkha ownership not at all relevant to story

DJ probably not responsible for 1932

Toothpaste will kill us all

Woman walks on beach

Woman has legs

Family caught spending time together

People go to a party

Woman wears dress

Shock: Pregnant woman has a bump

Mystery package is none of our business

Nudes in brief: Jessica Alba, Avril Lavigne  

Outrage: woman holds hands with her girlfriend

Brother’s clothes apparently not noteworthy

Man imbibes fluid

Paparazzi catches woman wearing sensible shoes

Speculation about soap opera plot is NOT news

Woman wears dress

Diana Watch 2014: really sure she’s pretty fucking dead

Reading the news, and the not news, so you don’t have to…

Breaking news

Breaking news: 'Want your tax. Want your tax for good.'

Breaking news

Breaking news: actually talking to your mother a thing of the past

Breaking news

Breaking news: man eating chicken!

The news in brief 8th May 2014

The news in brief:
 
Fiiiiiiight!

Child likes to play dress up - church group surprises no one

Straight couples continue to destroys the sanctity of marriage

Study suggests you don’t need to shower every day

Ships do fairly unremarkable ship stuff

Scaremongering headlines

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Statistics suggest we're all pretty fucking bigoted

People object to stealth religion in foods

It’s not all bad news - miracle recovery

Man learns it is not okay to be a cunt on the Internet

Outrage: MP claims for legitimate business expense

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Labelling five-year-olds is probably a Bad Idea

300 missing girls NOW still less relevant than 1 missing girl 7 years ago

Judge has last laugh

Customers are not always right (sometimes they are dirty, blackmailing thieves)

Man likes chicken a bit too much

Science is totally fucking wicked

Ignorance apparently an excuse now?!

U.F.O probably not aliens

Firenado!!!!

Blurry footage probably not time travelling space-man

Nudes in brief: Harry Styles

Diana Watch 2014: still ‘dead’

Reading the news so you don’t have to…

The news in brief 7th May 2014

The news in brief:

Vicars can be sexy too

Terrifying testicle-eating fish

Scientists have finally seen Jurassic Park

Study states the obvious: sitting down all day is bad for you

Man is pretty vapid

Newspaper clearly found pile of old Dinosaurs magazines

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Research suggests we aren't wild animals anymore

Accidental vasectomy

Hypocritical double standards

Stealth religion hiding in your pizza

Family has babies

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Realistic body deemed not attractive enough

Man’s wallet is too small for all his fifties and his diamond shoes are too tight

Science is fucking awesome

Cartoon supervillain back behind bars

Newspaper confuses product placement for news

Fashion, celebrities, odd houses and product placement seemingly more important than 250 abducted girls and what we’re doing about it…

Odd house is pretty odd

Study states the fucking obvious: being lazy bastards leads to fat kids

One giant jellyfish apparently constitutes an invasion

Nudes in brief: Miley Cyrus

Diana Watch 2014: still pretty dead

Reading the news so you don’t have to…

The news in brief 5th and 6th May 2014

The news in brief

The frog that would not die!

80’S TECHNOLOGY: SUPERIOR. MODERN TECHNOLOGY: INFERIOR

Celebrity sideboob is NOT news

Misleading headline

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Many girls abducted this month in Nigeria seemingly not as important as the one girl abducted 7 years ago…

No-one really cares about Eurovision

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

The news in brief team a bit confused by the biology of this one?!

Couple pretty fucked up

Outrage as man puts his health first

Nudes in brief: Naya Rivera

Medieval morality: 1, human decency: 0

Prince frugal with public money

Loose change will kill us all

Man is a total scumbag

Study states the obvious: children learn behaviour from their parents

Bureaucracy: 1, common sense: 0

Insane speculation!  

Electric cars will kill us all

All hail the Octogoat!  

Shock: babies don’t need half the shit we buy them

Video sort of misses the point

Diana Watch 2014: still kinda dead

Reading the news so you don’t have to…

The news in brief 4th May 2014

The news in brief celebrity special: 

Fashion designer doesn’t quite understand ‘free market’

Woman is physically fit

Paparazzi intrude on romantic day out

Pregnant woman dresses for the weather

Woman wears sunglasses

Woman updates social media

Actress’s sex life is none of our business

Friends eat food

Shocker: family spends time together

Photographer catches celebrities doing mundane everyday act

Outrageous: grandad spends time with grandchild

Woman wears hat

Newspaper doesn’t much care for woman’s clothes

Woman conforms to media’s narrow definition of beauty

Woman wears appropriate clothes

Woman wears bikini

Woman wears dress

New mother takes baby for a walk

Woman wears dress

Photographer catches actor walking OUTSIDE

Musician’s mystery partner is none of our business

No shit: pregnant woman’s body has changed shape

Celebrity has the audacity to go outside without make up

Diana Watch 2014: still dead

Reading the ‘news’ so you don’t have to… 
 

The news in brief 3rd May 2014

The news in brief extra:

Sometimes, just sometimes, the actual news is insane enough, that The news in brief team don't need to do anything to make it ridiculous:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2618898/Mother-five-told-illegal-gay-marriage-birth-certificate-error-recorded-BOY-UK-law-means-CANT-changed.html

Bureaucracy: 1, Common Sense: 0

The news in brief 2nd May 2014

The news in brief: 

Attention-seeking hyperbitch kinda has a point

Woman updates social media

Animals are pretty fucking horrific

Self-righteous adults bully child on the Internet

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Study states the obvious: teaching kids responsibility is a Good Idea

Shock: inflation makes things more expensive

Nudes in brief: Miley Cyrus

Man finds some really old shit

North Korea possibly on fire

Barbaric medieval justice: 1, human decency: 0

This weekend will be warmest of May so far

Aliens might not be like us

Science is fucking awesome

Shit waxworks

Grown man and woman assaults child over football match

PM engages in a bit of name calling

Scientist has seen the Terminator

Criminals pretty fucking stupid    

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Bureaucracy: 1, Common sense: 0

 Outrage: Nazis may have taken part in WWII

Diana Watch 2014: ‘still’ ‘dead’

Reading the news so you don’t have to…   

The news in brief 1st May 2014

The news in brief:

The news in brief would like to take this opportunity to say to the mainstream media that just because your wild, unfounded, callous, insensitive speculation turned out to be highly likely (which is not the same as definitely right), it doesn’t mean that it wasn’t wild, unfounded, callous, insensitive speculation.

Apparently assaulting someone is okay if you disagree with their politics

Remember: offensive language is okay in popular music, but not in an outtake never intended for broadcast

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Science is fucking awesome

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

No shit: cutting legal aid is a Very Bad Idea

Pair of nobodies hump on the beach

Bureaucracy: 1 Common sense: 0     

Human being cries at her brother’s funeral

Newspaper thinks it appropriate to plaster picture of grieving woman on website

Intolerant, bigoted mega-bitches charged  

Study states the obvious: cigarettes are bad for you  

Nudes in brief: Orlando Bloom

Sonar blip probably not mythical lake monster

Parental responsible not forthcoming  

Shock: hitting children is wrong  

Diana Watch 2014: highly likely she’s still dead

Reading the news so you don’t have to…