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Tuesday 2 February 2016

The news in brief 2nd February 2016

Today’s news in brief:

Celebrity bum play is NOT news

But did anyone ask the horses permission?!

Economy still pretty ropey

Great news: skiving is good for you

Internet full of lies

Mass transit system told to buck its fucking ideas up

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Racoon just wanted to get home…

‘Pro-rape group’ inexplicably not hate speech

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Baby’s miracle escape

Shop decides to stop robbing off women

Breaking news: groundhog behaviour not actually linked to weather patterns   

Jurassic cock

Bastards forget how to person

Don’t be alarmed, but somebody broke the Internet

China suffers commuter nightmare

Newspaper condones theft…

Vampire attacks probably not at all supernatural

Love at first byte

Nudes in brief: Kim Kardashian

And finally: snowboarding baby totally nails it

Reading the news so you don’t have to…

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