Today’s news in brief:
Everybody in the UK suddenly experts on traffic management and animal control
Police threaten to use force on desperate homeless people who have lost everything
Schoolyard bully picks on the poor kid's uniform
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Newspaper victim of its own success
E-cigarettes will kill us all
Exercise on the way to work you lazy bastards
Frankenspunk to the rescue!
Queen's missing pigeon shows up
Man has mildly clever idea
Trains are shit
NHS still getting fucked
Economy massively screwed
Pro tip: let strangers stay in your house
Man's inhumanity to man continues apace
Bureaucratic nightmare treats child like shit
Diana Watch 2016: even Trump’s at it. Still dead though.
Study states the obvious: wasteful packaging is wasteful
Nudes in brief: Chloe Ferry
And finally: little boy has a Messi adventure
Reading the news so you don’t have to…
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