Today’s news in brief:
Pro tip: it's not the police's job to parent
Scaremongering bullshit still isn't news
Looks like they might have been right about that whole Doomsday Clock thing...
Man's inhumanity to man continues apace
Economy still pretty shit
People really not happy with politician
Study states the obvious: shelves seem higher to short people
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Churchgoers angry about magic bones
Get well message probably sincere
You should be careful what you post online
Slippery slope fallacy is not news
Attack of the NIMBYs
Mother nature reminds us all who's in fucking charge
#firstworldproblems
Looks like we're going to need a bigger beach
Nurse forgets how to person
Bureaucracy: 1, Human decency: 0
Simple pill could save us all
Nudes in brief: Mel B
And finally: cats aren't all evil after all
Reading the news so you don’t have to…
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