Today’s news in brief:
We swear this job is getting harder and harder every day. Up to 300 massacred in the streets, as many as 400 kidnapped and more bombings. All because some bellends feel differently about some people's interpretation of a COMPLETELY UNKNOWABLE AND POSSIBLY MADE-UP INVISIBLE SKY WIZARD. It's hard enough to process that information, let alone find a way to tell jokes about the world around it.
Suffices to say that man's inhumanity to man continues apace.
Holiday a bit too pagan-y for Christian church
Alleged tea addict drinks suspiciously few cups of tea
Study states the obvious: you probably hate your job
Steam is a gateway drug
Monkeys are better people than you
Blue Monday entirely made up
Pro tip: respect is a two way street
General public literally never satisfied
Rampant ideology: 1 Common sense: 0
Government encourages parents to use services they closed
Could you not maybe bulldoze people's only shelter *after* they've been rehoused?
Chances are your CV is shit
Nudes in brief: Kourtney Kardashian
And finally: cats are fucking huge
Reading the news so you don’t have to....
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