The news in brief:
The Queen hasn’t got time for your terrorist bullshit
Thoroughly decent chap wiped out in tragic accident
Plane crash
Missing aeroplane
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Economy looks set to shit itself again
Study suggests less than half of young people are
open-minded
Old people not happy that kids don’t adhere to the mores of
their generation
Bureaucracy: 1, Human sympathy: 0
DJ not too sure what breasts are for
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Product placement totally isn’t news
Woman learns the importance of spellchecking
North and South
Korea engage in epic rap battle
Pro tip: if you’re going to mug someone, don’t send them a
selfie after…
Who ever would have guessed that women like porn too?
Study states the obvious: it’s expensive to live in London
Newspaper thinks a vandalised car is more significant than
27 innocent lives snuffed out
Election pledge a bit Mein Kampfish
Seagulls will kill us all!
Health and fucking safety…
Nudes in brief: Lara Lieto
And finally: no and finally today. As ever, our thoughts are
with the people of Bangkok…
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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