The news in brief:
Study states the obvious: billionaires have more money than
you
Indoctrination of children is no laughing matter
Man’s inhumanity to man has never been so bad
Newspaper overlooks several influential historical figures
Man is a dirty little liar
Earth tries to eat Manchester
Bear killed for being a bear
Pro tip: get off your phone, you’re supposed to be on
holiday!
Terrorists are terrible people
The sky’s the limit for the building trade
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Election introduces swimsuit competition
Burglars are heartless cunts
Nerds want to build fictional city
Mega nerds want to destroy fictional city
Movie poster accidently drops the c-bomb
DNA evidence 33 years too late
Aliens probably didn’t save the world
Great news: bread is no longer the enemy
Doll probably not haunted.
Dirty paparazzi bastards clearly don’t read The news in brief
Turns out we had some weather
Nudes in brief: Irina Shayk
And finally: A whale and a turtle find that not all humans
are dicks
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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