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Tuesday 11 August 2015

The news in brief 11th August 2015



The news in brief:

News anchor has trouble keeping up with the Kardashians

Breaking news: no-one gives a shit about your rabbit

Medieval superstition claims another life

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Business’s restructure unlikely to affect your life

Internet doesn’t understand how space works

The universe is dying, but only in that technical way everyone over 20 is dying…

Nothing calms down a powder keg quite like armed vigilantes

Politician is full of shit

Pro tip: immigrants and refugees are NOT the same thing

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount  

Looks like we’re going to have some weather

Study states the obvious: fresh eggs are best

Advert offends half the human race

Newspaper makes a pretty sweeping generalisation (men like chocolate too)

Plastic balls will save us all

Ukraine situation still hella scary

Artist grew a what on his what now?!

Hero dog saves the day

Diana Watch 2015: newspaper squeezes a second day out of the same story. Still dead.

Nudes in brief: Kylie Jenner

And finally: two men bravely disarm a hostile situation and save a whole bunch of lives…

Reading the news so you don’t have to…

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