The news in brief
In the eternal struggle of lion versus plastic barrel: barrel won
Tragic abuse of power caught on camera
Good old fashioned jewellery heist
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Verdict surprises no-one
Man's inhumanity to man continues apace
Woman forgets how to person
Terrible person gets what they deserve
Man makes wise decision
Study states the obvious: people like legroom
Cute animals are totally cute
Turns out exercise might be good for you
Justice better late than never
Town is a bit shit
It was a pretty fucking big snake
People are judgemental cunts
Not all men thinks with their dicks
Pepper spray drones are a thing now
Man too good at his job
Looks like we're going to have some weather
Medieval morality ruins another life
Product placement masquerading as news
Nudes in brief: Uma Thurman
And finally: would-be rapist gets a kung-pow kicking.
Reading the news so you don't have to...
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