The news in brief:
Stop the press: politician practices what she preaches (although
some of the other bits remain to be seen…)
Political party forgets to include rainbows, unicorns and
kittens in its hilarious vision of the future
People act like self-entitled twats on the Internet
Presenter receives death threats for unforgivable crime of
NOT having a penis
General public still seems to think it’s okay to punch a
colleague and NOT be sacked
Cheese on toast is pretty important
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Voters prepare their scorecards for buzzword bingo
Oops: consultant says the loud bit quiet and the quiet bit
loud
Medieval morality destroys another life
Apparently living in a house they used on a TV shows makes
you an expert now
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Study suggests people would rather meander through the
countryside than be trapped in a metal tube thousands of feet above the ocean
Weather perfectly normal for the time of year but still
inexplicably newsworthy
Parking meters designed by dastardly evil masterminds
Mysterious outbreak of common sense
Shoppers are judgemental cunts
Action Gran saves the day
Study states the obvious: too much paracetamol is bad for
you
Nudes in brief: Chloe Madeley
And finally: awesome five-year-old reminds us how to person
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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