The news in brief:
Priorities: 30 people murdered barely gets a footnote. Miley
Cyrus’ armpits get a half-page spread
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Skynet set to take over our hospitals
Pro tip: vaccinate your fucking kids
People act like cunts on the Internet
Health and safety gone mad
Register to vote – if not, you forfeit your right to bitch
about the government
Mad suggestion that immigrants are people too
Opinionated hate-wizard oddly unapologetic
Economy still pretty shit
Don’t judge: maybe the propagandamobile has a disability
Weather looks set to get more summer-y
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
What kind of gigantic bellend steals from someone having a
seizure
General public feels woman should pay for her own goddamned
wedding
Spidergeddon!
Chimpanzees are smarter than a whole bunch of people we know
The universe is a huge and terrifying place
Do-it-yourself tattoo removal should have seemed like a bad
idea from the outset
Study states the obvious: broccoli is good for you
Indistinct blur probably not aliens
Nudes in brief: Kourtney Kardashian
And finally: astronaut becomes first person to wear
Starfleet uniform in space (and The news
in brief’s new personal hero)
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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