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Saturday 18 January 2014

The news in brief 18th January 2014

The news in brief horoscope special: 

(and never let it be said that The news in brief is not an equal opportunities aggressor)

Rat: Trust your instincts and shoot for the moon. Be nice to you friends but don't let them take advantage. 

Ox: Be flexible and be prepared to work harder than ever before. Take advantage of your friends.

Tiger: People suck. Fuck 'em.

Rabbit: You will get both good and bad news over the next year. Be prepared to kiss arse to get places.

Dragon: Trust your instincts and be prepared to work harder than ever before. Don't let new friends take advantage.

Snake: Basically, whatever we said for Dragons pretty much applies to you Slitherins too

Horse: Think before you act. Don't let new friends take advantage.

Sheep: Fabulous secret powers will be revealed to you the day you hold aloft your magic sword and say...

Monkey:  Trust your instincts and be prepared to work harder than ever before. Try not to spend any money.

Rooster: Trust your instincts and shoot for the moon. Don't forget about your friends

Dog: Your year is going to be shit. Best give up now.

Pig: Don't expect to much of the next twelve month. Just be grateful you're not a dog. 

Reading the news so you don't have to... 



 

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