The news in brief:
Football fans not cattle
Expensive yacht is expensive
Britain love bums
Man's inhumanity to man continues apace
Hell literally freezes over
Public overreacts to television program
Some men will hump anything
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Celebrity hypnotist states the obvious
Unsupported hypothesis regurgitated as news
Bully gets what they deserve
Pharmacy legitimately withholds controlled substance
Outrage because not everyone speak a dying language
PCSO gets himself nicked
Nudes in brief: Eliza Doolittle
Cake looks like shit
Study tells us something we already knew
Angry mob reacts violently (how violently depends on which paper you read though)
Diana Watch 2014: 'still dead'
Man with golden throne speaks out against greed
Britain is a bit shit at wars
Reading the news so you don't have to...
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