The news in brief:
Transformer with chair alt-mode sparks outrage
Old woman is a bitch
Working nights sucks
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
UK economy a bit less shit than yours
People make sensible life choices in difficult economic climate
Everyone likes cheese
Greedy bosses to blame for bad weather
Racial stereotyping a-go-go
Thieving monster vilified
Man's inhumanity to man continues apace
CBB: won't somebody think of the children!
Stealth fish!
29 year-old bloke acts like 29 year-old bloke
Awesome kids shoot for the moon
Space is fucking cool
Katy Perry's cleavage is news now
Economic secretary states the obvious
Footballer not just scratching his arm
Diana Watch 2014: Kate is NOT Diana (glad we settled that, then)
Old people just need to defragment
Reading the news so you don't have to...
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