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Monday 13 January 2014

The news in brief 13th January 2014

The news in brief:

Supermarket makes sensible decision

Fracking is still a thing

Scotland wants to have its cake and eat it 

Celebrity panellist suggests: You've got to hold and give, but do it at the right time. You can be slow or fast, but you must get to the line.

Family tragedy is somehow our business

CBB: there's cock and balls everywhere! 

Study states the obvious

People fucking love swearing

Small child has corrective surgery

Celebrity panellist suggests: They'll always hit you and hurt you, defend and attack; there's only one way to beat them: get round the back

American baffled by NHS 

Diana Watch 2014: 'still dead'

Studies identifies convenient scapegoat for lack of self-restraint

Outrage: businesses advertise their products IN STORE!  

Shock: Restaurant has seats!

Celebrity panellist suggests: Catch me if you can, 'cause I'm the England man and what you're looking at
is the master plan

Grieving family's non-objective feelings presented as fact  

Religion's bodycount continues to mount 

Celebrity panellist suggests: We ain't no hooligans, this ain't a football song; three lions on my chest
I know we can't go wrong

Man's inhumanity to man continues apace

News website changes it's headline after commentators call them out on their shit

Everyone in Newcastle knows the offside rule

Reading the news so you don't have to... 


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