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Saturday 11 January 2014

The news in brief 11th January 2014



The news in brief horoscope special:

Aries: Think you’re stressed now? It’s only going to get worse!

Taurus: Get some perspective, you little Drama Queen!

Gemini: This ain’t no damned movie, this is real life!

Cancer: Cheer up Saggy Pants, worse things happen at sea.

Leo: Keep your eyes on the prize, Slugger

Virgo: Things are better when you work as a team.

Libra: Forget your plans and just wing it

Scorpio: Life is fucked up right now. But you’ll enjoy it

Sagittarius: Stop pushing your luck, you jammy git

Capricorn: You are stronger than you think!

Aquarius: Fear is all in your mind, take a deep breath

Pisces: Change is as good as a holiday   

Reading the news so you don’t have to…

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