The news in brief:
Lucky student wins wasp
Woman makes poor life choice
One gran crime wave
Russian woman doesn't quite grasp liability laws
Economy a bit less shit
News of the World makes NSA look like amateurs
Google one step closer to becoming Skynet
Fictional man's clothes are news now
GCHQ checks Facebook
Man's inhumanity to man continues apace
Study suggest food is bad for you
Diana Watch 2014: 'still dead'
Nudes in brief: Sienna Miller
Study suggest sleep is good for you
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Remember - you can't be sexy AND a good role model
Massive boat!
You-know-who still missing
Pope is pretty cool
Comedian tells joke
Reading the news so you don't have to...
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