-Sorry
I didn't get to post this yesterday: I was really tired and I fell asleep.
Better late than never...
The
story of Independence Day, by the news in brief:
200 years ago, on the 4th of July, the evil British Empire forged an alliance with Zombie Hitler, who was still lost in time after his final battle with Jesus at the end of the Bible.
The British wanted to take people's money as taxes without letting them have a say in how society was run. Zombie Hitler wanted to control the weather by blowing up the ocean. Together they built a gigantic space station with a gigantic death ray and they captured Jesus and Santa.
The president of the United States of America, a drunken red neck who had been abducted by the British before, Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum teamed up to rescue Santa and Jesus from Area 51.
With Santa and Jesus free, Santa flew a captured British spaceship up to the British Empire's space station, which was similar but legally distinct from the Death Star, and blew it up using a computer virus. Luckily his Mac was compatible with the evil alien's operating system.
Meanwhile, Jesus and Hitler engaged in another epic battle. It all looked bad for Jesus when Hitler summoned his droid army from the future; but the day was saved when Hulk Hogan and Mr T came back from the future to help. Hitler's robot army was destroyed and he was cast back into the time stream.
Thanks to Jesus, Santa, Mr T and the Hulkster the mermaids remained in control of the weather and there would be no taxation without representation.
And they all went to Boston Harbour and had a tea party. The end
200 years ago, on the 4th of July, the evil British Empire forged an alliance with Zombie Hitler, who was still lost in time after his final battle with Jesus at the end of the Bible.
The British wanted to take people's money as taxes without letting them have a say in how society was run. Zombie Hitler wanted to control the weather by blowing up the ocean. Together they built a gigantic space station with a gigantic death ray and they captured Jesus and Santa.
The president of the United States of America, a drunken red neck who had been abducted by the British before, Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum teamed up to rescue Santa and Jesus from Area 51.
With Santa and Jesus free, Santa flew a captured British spaceship up to the British Empire's space station, which was similar but legally distinct from the Death Star, and blew it up using a computer virus. Luckily his Mac was compatible with the evil alien's operating system.
Meanwhile, Jesus and Hitler engaged in another epic battle. It all looked bad for Jesus when Hitler summoned his droid army from the future; but the day was saved when Hulk Hogan and Mr T came back from the future to help. Hitler's robot army was destroyed and he was cast back into the time stream.
Thanks to Jesus, Santa, Mr T and the Hulkster the mermaids remained in control of the weather and there would be no taxation without representation.
And they all went to Boston Harbour and had a tea party. The end
Paying attention to history, so you don’t have to…
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