The news in brief 27th and 28th July 2014 (plus free blog post)

The news in brief:

Usually liberal news outlet indulges in a spot of cyberbullying

Solar panels: you're doing it all wrong

Holy war declared against dogs?!

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Seriously - how hard is it to not kill people?

Fracking will save us all

Frivolous law suit  

Wet grass’s inhumanity to dogs continues apace

Totally rad scientists promote fistbumping for all the wrong reasons

Handshakes will kill us all (apparently)

BBC presenter surprises no-one

Basically the whole world is pretty hairy right now

Study states the obvious: dinosaurs might not have gone extinct if all of the conditions had been totally different

Fracking will kill us all

Dragonfly is fucking huge!

Terrible human being forgets how to parent

Diana Watch 2014: pretty sure she’s still dead

Reading the news so you don’t have to…

The news in brief celebrity special:

BBC unveils news reality phone-in show (yawn)

Reality TV show gets totally needless spin-off

Man doesn’t like working with other man

Wild speculation

Celebrity’s love life is apparently our business

Woman looks undignified on bouncy castle

Woman updates social media

Paparazzi intrudes on family day out

Woman wears dress

Singer proud owner of legs

Woman wears t-shirt

Pregnant woman dresses appropriately for the weather

Nudes in brief: Toni Garrn

Woman wears bikini whilst on HOLIDAY

High street guru not that good at job

Diana Watch 2014: yup. still dead    

Reading the ‘news’ so you don’t have to….

A bonus blog post from the archives:

Child abusers can send things to each other through the post. Royal Mail should monitor all of our post and face fines and legal action if anything gets through... wait that's crazy talk. So why are ISPs and search engines facing this backwardness? Child abusers wouldn't put their filth in a brown package labelled 'child abuse' and drop it off at the post office. If it were me I'd bundle it in a stack of old comics and not label it at all. This applies to the Internet too. These filth wizards aren't going to type 'Child abuse images' into Bing (mostly because no-one uses Bing) They're going to save their file names as meaningless alphanumeric chains and share them peer to peer through a goddamned pottery chat room. Blocking search terms and stopping perfectly legal pornography isn't going to do shit other than criminalise legitimate researchers and make me tell Virgin Media when I fancy a quick knuckle shuffle to some downstairs mixup. To stop child abuse on the Internet we need to go offline and the police need to take out the sick fucks with the cameras. There is a sad real world component to child abuse and by the time it's on the Internet there's already a vulnerable human being scarred for life. Making Bing and Google responsible means it's already too late.

Raving about the news so you don’t have to…