The news in brief:
Total
eclipse of the heart*
14 year old in a whole heap of shit
Terrorism
jokes are NOT funny
Chocolatier
a bit heavy handed
Weird
really, because the law is quite explicit
10 hour
day might a bit much for 4 year olds
Boobs
have nothing to do with breast cancer
Study
states the obvious: salt is bad for you
MAN
ORDERED TO LEARN NETIQUETTE
Religion’s
bodycount continues to mount
Public
given what they asked for still not happy
Science
is fucking awesome
Exclusive:
people are literally never satisfied
Mutant
space cherries
Voldermort
not a suspect
Man’s
inhumanity to man continues apace
e-cigarettes
will kill us all!
World
probably not ending
Baby
moon!
Giant
bird on the loose
Shock: you
are responsible for supervising your child on the Internet
Rogue
dictator has no sense of humour
Nudes in
brief: Sam Faiers
Diana
Watch 2014: ‘still’ dead
Reading the news so you don’t have to…
*moon
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