It’s home-made pie night in The news in brief’s state of the art nerve-centre/livingroom.
Please imagine the sounds of feral slurping as you read tonight’s edition
The news in brief:
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Rich people don’t want the disabled to spoil their view
Winter-y weather may last until spring
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Extreme case of mistaken identity
But then how do you get rid of the bigger monkeys?! Even
bigger monkeys!
200-year-old mummy probably not still alive
Ofcom tells small-minded twats to wind their necks in
Grieving family’s private affairs are somehow news
TV plummets to all-time low
Thieving bitch gets what she deserves
Mother gives evidence – from beyond the grave
Long overdue sequel had better be worth the wait…
Okay… today the news is saying there *isn’t* enough filth in
the upcoming 50 Shades movie?!
Indistinct blur probably not a ghost
Study states the obvious: green tea is good for you
Little boy has a lucky escape
Bronze Age brain surgery was probably shit
Human bodies probably not designed to be shot into space
Product placement is NOT news
Nudes in brief: Emily Ratajkowski
We’d totally eat a mealworm burger
And finally: It’s totally not a giant cock. Honest.
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
No comments:
Post a Comment