The news in brief 6th October 2014

The news in brief:

Look, we’re still not ignoring the whole ISIS thing; it’s just we’re a satirical news blog and we’re in it for the laughs. There is nothing funny what-so-ever about people being murdered in cold blood. The news in brief still struggles to rationalise a sentient being decapitating an aid worker, whilst still considering themselves the good guys…. Suffices to say we remain saddened by the news and we wish/hope/prey for a peaceful and prompt resolution

Newsflash: potatoes are not an effective form of contraceptive

Pro tip: full pelvis condoms are apparently a thing now

Remember: any form of contraceptive will send you straight to hell.

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Stop the press: cats are not people

According to the Internet, two wrongs do make a right

Wild speculation rife in the comments section

Nearly 50% of America now grants the same rights to everybody

Heterosexual couples continue to undermine the sanctity of marriage

Ebola situation remains pretty fucking hairy

Joke is in very poor taste

Once again newspaper fails to understand why the ‘Graphic Content’ warning goes BEFORE the pictures not AFTER!

Science is pretty fucking awesome  

Holodecks are nearly a thing (kinda)

Manicures will kill us all!

Giant spider!

Bureaucracy: 2, Human kindness: 0

Mad suggestion the supermarkets should make the droid tills work

Woman has clearly seen Die Hard with A Vengeance

Nudes in brief: Lady Mary Crawley

And finally: Doctor is really good at porridge

Reading the news so you don’t have to…   

We have a house guest and it’s my son’s birthday on Wednesday, so we’re having a short hiatus for the next two nights. See you Thursday!