The news in brief 2nd November 2013

The news in brief horoscope special:

Aries: Sex and hobbies are good for you.

Libra: You may receive something nice. Or not.

Taurus: Don't be a dick.

Scorpio: Being positive is good for you. Get a job.

Gemini: Do your research before starting a business.

Sagittarius: Your friends like you.

Cancer: Being positive is good for you. You might find love in an antique shop. Or maybe not.

Capricorn: Being positive is good for you. Don't be a dick.

Leo: Being positive is good for you.

Aquarius: Being positive is good for you. Get a job.

Virgo: Being positive is good for you.

Pisces: Being positive is good for you. Don't be a dick.

Perhaps they don't expect someone to read all twelve of them.

Reading the news so you don't have to...