The news in brief:
'Egyptian curse' just buses going past
TV pundits don't know how the Internet works
Google and Microsoft do as they're told
Experts say 'we told you so'
Think tank has an idea. Media goes nuts
Dude probably can tell the time
Snow doesn't cripple the UK
Hit and run driver doesn't know how Twitter works
Or vehicle tax apparently
Tweet biggest regret - so not the hit and run then?
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Performer makes poor judgement call
Cyclists outraged by common sense
'Kim keeps North covered' - still not about Korea
NHS a bit shit
Spain still a bit Falklands-y over Gibraltar
The Daily Mail and Aldi totally need to get a room
English language cries itself to sleep
IMMIGRANT APOCALYPSE!
Crackpot religion unveils time machine
Sci-fi technology for really clingy couples
Journalist hasn't watched Doctor Who
Reading the news so you don't have to...
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