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Tuesday 15 March 2016

The news in brief 15th March 2016

Today’s news in brief:

Unrepentant shithead surprises no-one

Terrorist’s cell better than most people's first apartments

Media manipulation a-go-go

Parole meeting doesn't go to plan

Luminous hate-wizard inexplicably still popular

Martian methane apparently more worthwhile than freezing, starving refugees

Rogue nation remains terrifying/hilarious /adorable

How did doing doughnuts at a war memorial ever seem like a good idea?!

Nation shits itself for tomorrow's budget announcement

Perhaps they all had 2.1 NI number each?  

Man's inhumanity to man continues apace

Putin pulls out (snigger)

Religion's bodycount continues to mount

Easter eggs are shit

Pro tip: human remains are not drugs

Dog has two noses?! How does it smell? (sorry)

Skynet getting pretty good at board games

Dead woman to get special magic award

Diana Watch 2016: daughter-in-law wears similar hat. Still dead.

Study states the obvious: rest is good for you

Stars in their bras: Jesy Nelson

And finally: crustacean doesn't look anything like Elton John

Reading the news so you don’t have to...

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