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Monday 14 March 2016

The news in brief 14th March 2016

We're back, bitches! Once again our scheduled return coincides with another wave of bombings,  stabbings and shootings around the world making us wonder how we can carry on poking fun at the news when the news is so full of darkness. At home we have disabled people living in fear of next week's budget, and across the pond a shit pile of people seem to have forgotten the lessons of the 1930s and 40s and are rallying around a trumpeting hate engine who promises greatness on the back of intolerance and fear.

This is a hard gig. Thank shitting crikey for celebrity gossip:

This week’s celebrity news in brief:

Man's weight loss is not news

Couple caught canoodling

Paparazzi intrudes on romantic moment

Woman wears dress

Woman conforms to media's narrow definition of beauty

Breaking news: woman doesn't do her hair and make-up when running errands

Man updates social media

Wild speculation about who's quaffing who

Sideboob is NOT news

Woman wears beachwear AT THE BEACH!?!?

Stop the press: family walks dog

Woman wears brightly coloured shoes

Woman drives car

Woman caught not wearing jewellery

We still think publishing pictures of other people's kids is weird and wrong…

Photographers intrude on family day out

Mother and daughter caught doing normal mother and daughter stuff

Stars in their bras: Chantelle Connelly

And finally: throwing amatures at a ski jump may have been a Very Bad Idea

Reading the news so you don’t have to...

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