The news in brief:
Election pledges!
Study states the obvious: very rich people have lots of
money
Attention-seeking hyper-bitch in trouble again
Science is fucking awesome: special trousers for the
big-balled
Apparently terrorists don’t kip much
We totally blame the parents
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Parish newsletter gets a bit racy
Turns out politicians are people too
Statistically perfect people are statistically perfect
Breaking news: roads expected to be busy over public holiday
Little legend only wanted a slushie
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Spoons will kill us all
Coffee is good for you!
Town gets high on 3.3 tons of cannabis
Sneaky devil finds a loophole
Pro tip: don’t trample the animals you’re trying to protect…
What exactly does Cat Deeley have to do with this story?
Medieval medicine will save us all
Skynet gives animal husbandry a go
Too many Death Row inmates? Have you tried not killing
people?
Turns out the Queen’s staff aren’t paid all that much
Nudes in brief: James Corden
And finally: the trees are taking over!
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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