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Monday 30 March 2015

The news in brief 30th March 2015

The news in brief:

Election pledges!

Study states the obvious: very rich people have lots of money

Attention-seeking hyper-bitch in trouble again

Science is fucking awesome: special trousers for the big-balled

Apparently terrorists don’t kip much

We totally blame the parents

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Parish newsletter gets a bit racy

Turns out politicians are people too

Statistically perfect people are statistically perfect

Breaking news: roads expected to be busy over public holiday

Little legend only wanted a slushie

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Spoons will kill us all

Coffee is good for you!

Town gets high on 3.3 tons of cannabis

Sneaky devil finds a loophole

Pro tip: don’t trample the animals you’re trying to protect…

What exactly does Cat Deeley have to do with this story?

Medieval medicine will save us all

Skynet gives animal husbandry a go

Too many Death Row inmates? Have you tried not killing people?

Turns out the Queen’s staff aren’t paid all that much

Nudes in brief: James Corden

And finally: the trees are taking over!

Reading the news so you don’t have to…








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