The news in brief 3rd December 2014

The news in brief:

So, there I am, wading my way through a dozen different news websites, notepad document ready to jot down any juicy titbits (I'll apologise for the pun later) for tonight's The news in brief  when I stumble across a Buzzfeed article on Facebook about the breastfeeding mother asked to cover up by the staff in Claridge's.

I was sucked in. There were so many comments! Two hours later I was still trawling through them, my regard for the entire human race fading by the second, and aside from the staggering lack of good grammar, I was taken aback by the small-minded fuck-shittery people were capable of.

First of all, a lesson in false equivalence:

Yes, breastfeeding is natural. And yes, so are pooping and farting, but that doesn't mean they're the same thing.    

'Cos you see, pooping and farting are the body's way of excreting waste. That's something we do in private.  Over time we've evolved a social taboo about doing these things in front of other people, but it's likely to have evolved from good old-fashioned hygiene.

Babies also excrete waste. They do this in their nappies (because they're not so hot at using toilets yet) and we change them in private. So you see, it's nothing like breastfeeding. That's false equivalence.

You know what breastfeeding is equivalent to?  Eating.

Which leads me to this piece of comedy gold:

Because she's absolutely right - there is a time and a place for everything.

The time for eating is 'when you're hungry.'

The place for eating is 'restaurants.'

If you don't want to see a woman breastfeeding, the solution is pretty fucking straightforward:

Stop looking at the woman breastfeeding 

and just like that the problem is resolved.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go eat in the corner with a blanket over my head.

Reading the news so you don't have to...












sorry for the titbits pun...