The news in brief:
Nation resorts to name calling
Racial slurrs are NOT cool
Entitled douchecunts forget the real meaning of Christmas
Boxing Day sales start Christmas Eve
Fairy tail banned for 'historical inaccuracy'
Hackers stole Christmas
Wintery weather grinds UK's infrastructure to a standstill
Terrorists apparently don't take Christmas off
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Newspaper struggled to understand that 'different' and 'equal' aren't mutually exclusive
Man's inhumanity to man continues apace
The Queen kicks Doctor Who's wibbly wobbly Timelord ass
University worries escalated quickly
Previous article probably a hoax
More wintery weather due this winter
Trains delayed - London in chaos
Remember: homework is essential but after school tuition is child abuse?!
Study states the obvious: students have a lot on their plates.
Mother lambasted for sensible parenting decision
BBC warns of yellow snow
Medieval morality still treating women like shit
Panic: hackers can take control of your everything!
Economy still shit
Nudes in brief: Rihanna
And finally: The news in brief is reasonably sure Jesus wasn't a pig's head
Reading the news so you don't have to...
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