The news in brief 7th September 2014

The news in brief celebrity special :

Media briefly remembers that the North East exists

Mo Farah officially better at running than Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, The Hulk, Spiderman, Banana Man and a Dalek

After 10 long years, celebrity dance show starts scraping the bottom of the barrel for contestants

Apparently being a sports star’s mum makes you a celebrity now

The news in brief remains unsure exactly how a ballerina is better at judging ballroom dancing than an actual ballroom dancer

Woman wears bikini IN THE SWIMMING POOL!

Couple who met at work are still dating

Muscular man wears tight shirt

Woman walks dog  

Woman has legs

Woman wears dress

Paparazzi intrudes on family day out

Man caught carrying his child in public

Woman caught wearing underwear UNDER her outerwear

Woman conforms to media’s narrow definition of beauty

Woman wears hat

Outrage: woman dresses appropriately for the weather

    

Woman has the audacity to wear a tracksuit and no make-up on a long haul flight

Woman fails to conform to media’s narrow definition of beauty

Woman eats junk food TWICE whilst on holiday

Paparazzi drones are a thing now

Shock: woman has the cheek to re-wear the same dress

The nudes in brief: sideboob! 

And finally: media doesn’t like man’s suit

Reading the news so you don’t have to…