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Thursday 29 May 2014

The news in brief 28th and 29th May 2014

The news in brief:

Cynicism increases chances of dementia - The news in brief team somewhat concerned

Psychic Vampires are apparently a thing now

You can fix anything with lasers

Arsehole law continues to treat human beings like shit

Religion's bodycount continues to mount

Study states the obvious: parents should set a good example to their kids

Man's inhumanity to man continues apace

Newsflash: cigarettes are bad for you

UK still a nation of fatties 

Watching too much pornography makes men think less good

People stop watching shit TV show

Nudes in brief: Scout Willis

Russia/Ukraine situation still ‘very hairy’

PM suggests stoning people to death is a ‘Very Bad Idea’

Medieval morality’s bodycount continues to mount

Thousands gather for decent human being’s funeral

Technical fault leads to incurable case of vertigo

Secret-keepers decide the public can have the gist of the truth

Lying filthy fuck-face found guilty of being a dirty lying fuck-faced bell-end

Customer services tells it like it is

North Korea ‘not as shit as you think’

Aliens probably not invading Solihull

French master the art of back-heeling

Diana Watch 2014: ‘still dead’

Reading the news so you don’t have to…


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