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Wednesday 14 May 2014

The news in brief 14th May 2014



The news in brief:

Film not very good

Nerds are ever satisfied

Man doesn’t learn from all the ‘don’t be a cunt on the Internet’ stories

News outlet engages in a bit of cyberbullying

Blurry shape in the sky probably not aliens (but there sure are a lot of these stories at the minute)

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Not all human beings are despicable thunderturds (rest in peace Stephen)

Woman happy to ruin the film for everyone else

Optimus Prime is looking pretty buff

News website confuses product placement for news…

Economy a bit less shit

Newspaper forgets to use the word ‘allegedly’ in its headlines again

Nudes in brief: Ellie Goulding

Study states the obvious: criminals do illegal stuff

MP suggests ghoulish solution to practical problem

Political correctness gone mad

Remember: all men are monsters and all women are objects of pity

‘Ghost-like vision’ probably not a ghost

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Clowns are terrifying monsters

Birds kinda look alike, maybe

People will complain about anything

Diana Watch 2014: her butler is in the news again. She’s dead.  

Reading the news so you don’t have to…

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