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Monday 4 April 2016

The news in brief 4th April 2016

Today’s news in brief:

World leader has been very naughty (allegedly)

Burglar rubbish at hiding

Newspaper adds more drama to morbid fanfiction

Cinema snacks are fucking expensive

Dirty bastard gets what he deserves

Swan doesn't give a shit

Fat people are supposed to be harder to kidnap

Racist prick is both racist and a prick

‘Safe spaces,’ getting a teeny bit out of hand

Man's inhumanity to man continues apace

Chimps probably don't have organised religion

Religion's bodycount continues to mount

Skynet having a bash at journalism now

Weed will save us all

Passenger bites off more than he can chew

Hate wizard continues inexplicable march towards victory

Study states the obvious: magicians are good at magic tricks

Diana Watch 2016: face appears on a tee-shirt. Still dead.

Stars in their bras: Bella Hadid

And finally: article suggest Rick Astley stopped being cool at some point…?!

Reading the news so you don't have to…

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