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Monday 18 April 2016

The news in brief 18th April 2016

Today’s news in brief:

Human beings continue to murder each over arbitrary lines in the dirt

Religion's bodycount continues to mount

Dictatorship continues its assault on the bottom of the ocean

Aquaman unavailable for comment

Economy still pretty fucked

Nation of impoverished farmers continues to spend money on weapons of mass destruction

Earth shrugs its indifferent shoulders and there's nothing we can do to stop it

Man's inhumanity to man continues apace

Great British public surprises no-one

Conspiracy theorists might have been a little bit right

Nation threatens to spit its dummy out

Drones will kill us all

Breaking news: laws apply to famous people too

First biscuits,  then ice-cream now we're running out of prosecco…

Routine follow-up is not news

Victim-blaming still a thing

Diana Watch 2016: couple sit on bench. Still dead.

Man with gold hat sorts out 0.001% of a problem

Nudes in brief: Chanelle Hayes

Out campaign should have registered the domain name sooner… www.voteleave.co.uk

Reading the news so you don't have to…

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