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Sunday 6 December 2015

The news in brief 4th and 5th December 2015

Friday and Saturday’s news in brief:

Human race still pretty shit

Economy marginally better than it was (in the 1920s)

Government remembers that the North of England exists

We’ve totally had some weather

Army sent to sort out Cumbria (it's about fucking time)

Europe apparently can't learn from history

Man's inhumanity to man continues apace

Business doesn't give two shits about it's employees

Bigots surprise no-one

Religion's bodycount continues to mount

Product placement still NOT news

Beatles still not on Spotify

Collector probably has more money than you

Mad suggestion that politicians should act like grownups

Man really likes whacking it

Pro tip: positive discrimination is still discrimination

Bishop suggests TV not actually evil

Scaremongering speculation

Attention-seeking hyper-bitch swears she'll be back

Hungry enough to eat a horse? Well now you totally can!

Nudes in brief: 80s Madonna

And finally: Lenny Henry and Ainsley Harriott are NOT the same person...

Reading the news so you don't have to…

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