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Tuesday 29 December 2015

The news in brief 29th December 2015

The news in brief:

We’re back bitches!

Look, we spent awhile trying to come up with a funny headline for ‘pensioner guns down pensioner in care home,’ but none of them were in good taste, so we’re going to take the moral high ground and not use any of them, but by the Power of Greyskull, that’s awful

Entire North East of England says ‘we told you so’

Government learns definition of ‘false economy’

Nature really hates bridges

Absolute legend Killed by Death

Sarcastic bellend breaks the Internet

Brits fucking love cheese

Man’s inhumanity to man doesn’t give a shit that it’s Christmas

Skynet’s totally going to steal your job

BREAKING NEWS: pets breath the same air we do

Study strongly implies that wanking is amazing

Religion’s  bodycount continues to mount

Government SNAFU surprises no-one

Economy still pretty fucked

Newspaper confuses cyberbullying for news

God hates hoverboards

People are offended by fucking everything

Nudes in brief: nearly Rita Ora

And finally: child takes bacon for the first time. Angels weep with joy

Reading the news so you don’t have to…

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