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Monday 26 October 2015

The news in brief 26th October 2015



The news in brief:

Bacon will kill us all!

Sausages will kill us all!

Please God, don’t let it happen to baked beans too

Pizza giants devise way to bring hot carcinogens to your door

Controversial changes blocked controversially

Dirty hypocrites quickly change their tune

Impartial nature decides area hasn’t suffered enough

Man’s inhumanity to bears continues apace

15-year-old is smarter than you

Pro tip: stay off the fucking railway lines!

People who live in the countryside side surprised to learn that people need houses

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Study states the obvious: too much booze is bad for you

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace   

Product placement still isn’t news…

Breaking news: people with fewer dependants tend to have more money

Newspapers start hyping up Black Friday already (since when did we do this anyway?!)

Virtual Reality headset is pretty fucking awesome

Good Samaritan saves the day

Heavy-handed bureaucrats make life even harder to sick little girl

Man angry that government didn’t budget for him

Newspapers indulges in a spot of cyberbullying

Nudes in brief: Amanda Cerny

And finally: indistinct blur probably not a ghost

Reading the news so you don’t have to…







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