The news in brief:
Children encouraged to not speak like characters from a 70’s cop show
Political correctness gone mad
Think-tank entirely misses the point
Headteacher is a gigantic cunt
Bureaucracy: 1, Human kindness:0
Man's inhumanity to man continues apace
Parents forget how to person
Airports get pretty busy
Whales spotted in ocean!
Chillax everyone: Facebook’s got you covered
Scientologists have a lot of money
There sure are a lot of asteroids these days…
Bench vandals!
Pro tip: stop fucking killing the fucking elephants!
Skynet will soon control your bank account
Turns out we're not a nation of Benefits Scroungers after all
Drama gets a bit dramatic
Couple denied adoption for totally bullshit reasons
Sugar will kill us all
Soap will kill us all
Deodorant will kill us all
It's okay though: bacon is good for you
Stars in their bras: Lilah Parsons
And finally: FOAM FIGHT!!!
Reading the news so you don't have to...
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