The news in brief 7th September 2015

The news in brief:

Once again, it’s time for the The news in brief to school some of the horse-fucking thunder-cunts who foul up the Internet with their small-minded ignorant comments.

We’re based in South Tyneside. It’s a bit run down in places and it has its rough areas, but on the whole it’s a pretty nice place to live. We have some alright shops, a pretty decent hospital and some excellent beaches and parks.

The editor and I have a pretty comfortable life. We don’t have spare money for things like holidays, but our bills are paid and we eat every day. We drive an 11 year old car, but we eat out from time to time and we both have sort-of up-to-date Smartphone. This was the reality for a great many Syrians too.  

But if the government started shelling the shit out of our postcode, you know what we’d do?  We’d grab our son and we would get the fuck out of dodge by any means necessary. You know what we wouldn’t do?

We wouldn’t stop to change out of our clothes and into the convenient rags we keep for just such an occasion.

We wouldn’t stop to take off our shoes and sock

We wouldn’t stop to make sure our Smartphones were left behind

So how about you stop saying shit like ‘they can’t be refugees, look at them, they’re taking selfies and they’re wearing a gap sweatshirt - filthy immigrant scum!’ because you know what, if the government started to shell the shit out of my hometown, and I’d survived a harrowing journey with a frightened and confused son, I’d probably want to take a selfie too.

Maybe so I could let my mum know I was still alive.

No-where in international law does it say that to qualify as a refugee, you have to live up to the preconceived expectations of what a refugee should look like. If that’s too complicated a sentence to handle, how about: ‘people with nice sweaters can be afraid for their families too.’  

Hope this clears things up.  

Pricks.

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