The news in brief 28th November 2014

The news in brief Black Friday special:

Well done Britain. You've successfully commercialised another holiday. And this one wasn't even ours!

'A customer in a wheelchair has had a TV dropped on them and a security guard has been punched' - Sky News 28.11.2014

‘Because only in America [do] people trample each other for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have – Codeblack Comedy, via Facebook 28.11.2014

‘Get in there fast and if anyone gets in your way, catch them with your elbow’ – Genuine overheard conversation between two little old ladies.  

Police called to supermarket to break up pillaging idiots

Shoppers desperate for cut-priced consumer goods break the Internet

Website condemns Black Friday madness but kinda condones it too

People apparently need lots of TVs

And in other news:

Man’s inhumanity to buffalo continues apace

Woman forgets how to parent

Newspaper enjoys a bit of cyberbullying

Study states the obvious: watching the telly is NOT exercise

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Stop the presses: snow forecast for December

Anonymous weirdo probably a crackpot

Internet loses its shit over movie trailer

Deadly dihydrogen monoxide kills 1000 people a day!

Science is fucking awesome: black hole appears to piss all over laws of physics

Nudes in brief: Irina Shayk

And finally: Finland legalise people marrying the people they love  

Reading the news so you don’t have to…