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Monday 17 November 2014

The news in brief 17th November 2014



The news in brief:

Breaking news: science fiction film not 100% realistic

Shocking revelation that nerds like Lego

Global chocolate shortage!

Statistics prove you can prove anything with statistics  

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Economy a bit shit

Man is a gigantic douche – live on TV!

Study states the obvious: vegetables are good for you

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Soap opera character returns from beyond the grave – wait, didn’t we have one of these last week?!

Woman’s arse still inexplicably making headlines

Ebola!

Church formally accepts that women are people too

Health and fucking safety

Bird flu will ruin Christmas!

Medieval morality strikes again

Boris Johnson tells it like it is

Woman is quite sensitive about her name

Ukraine getting a bit hairy again

Somewhat surprised that sending a single sexy text message to an under 16 isn’t illegal already

Nudes in brief: well, there’s a fucking surprise…

And finally: business didn’t accept death certificate – so frustrated customer brings them the remains

Reading the news so you don’t have to…


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