The news in brief 12th and 13th March 2014

The news in brief:

Normal for Norfolk: Ironic fire station story

Science proves what we already know: crumbly biscuits are no good for dunking

Wild speculation continues apace

Man’s freedom and woman’s death treated like a movie event

Couple’s childcare arrangements none of our business

Man proves that not all humans suck

Seems like Finland has this teaching thing covered

Space is fucking awesome

Russia situation escalates from ‘hairy’ to ‘ropey’

Winter Olympics are still on

No shit: Spring is warmer than winter

Man good at his job

People don’t blame Royal Mail when blackmail is done via letter…

Man dressed as Batman is not Batman

Man lambasted for stating the obvious

Newspaper draws uncomfortable 9/11 parallels

Thumping great racist is clearly a prick

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount (but the news is bored of that old story)

Tragedy in Syria joins Badgers and Fraking in the ‘The news lost interest club’

Nudes in brief: Rose McGowen  

YOU AREN’T SUPPOSED TO EAT A BOX OF CINEMA POPCORN EVERY FUCKING DAY!

Seagull probably not going to show up in court

Science is kicking the shit out of AIDS this week

Giant boar!

Wasting police time apparently not a crime now…

Apparently the Church can just demand your money and make your house unsellable

Diana Watch 2014: Phone hacking FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE!

Reading the news so you don’t have to…