The news in brief:
Old man dies
US Government tells us what we already know
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
UK public misses the point
Princess Diana still dead
Conman jailed
No-one mention fracking
Teen girls scream at boy band
Cat saves dog
Man shoves fork down penis
Churchill was probably drunk
Woman learns the the hard way not to get drunk and blow a stranger
Hero groom learns to dance after losing legs
Gardening
Family photo taken
Woman takes child out in public
Woman eat sweet
Car bursts into flames!
Reading the news so you don't have to...
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