The news in
brief:
Hot
coffee will kill us all
No
more Netflix for you, insomniacs
General
public struggles to understand thermodynamics
Don’t
fuck about with drones
Cancer
may just be bad luck
It’s
still probably a good idea to look after yourself though…
TV
news twists the police’s words
Arrr,
there be treasure, me hearties!
Economy
a bit less shit
Turns
out the future is pretty fucking scary
Economy
still pretty shit
Couple’s
fashion-sense is apparently news now
Whole
country forgets how to person
Chicken
is pretty fucking expensive
Big
business doesn’t know how to Twitter
Religion’s
bodycount continues to mount
Study
states the obvious: having your heart broken sucks
Medieval
morality continues to treat women like shit
Health
and fucking safety not actually to blame
Pro-tip:
petrol caps remains static relative to the driver
Scientist
is an insensitive cock
Country
might be a bit euthanasia-happy
Man’s
inhumanity to man continues apace
Nudes
in brief: Georgio Armani
And
finally: stay the fuck out of the ebola tree!
Reading the news
so you don’t have to…
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