The news in
brief:
Hot
coffee will kill us all 
No
more Netflix for you, insomniacs
General
public struggles to understand thermodynamics 
Don’t
fuck about with drones 
Cancer
may just be bad luck 
It’s
still probably a good idea to look after yourself though…
TV
news twists the police’s words 
Arrr,
there be treasure, me hearties!
Economy
a bit less shit 
Turns
out the future is pretty fucking scary 
Economy
still pretty shit 
Couple’s
fashion-sense is apparently news now 
Whole
country forgets how to person 
Chicken
is pretty fucking expensive
Big
business doesn’t know how to Twitter
Religion’s
bodycount continues to mount 
Study
states the obvious: having your heart broken sucks 
Medieval
morality continues to treat women like shit 
Health
and fucking safety not actually to blame 
Pro-tip:
petrol caps remains static relative to the driver 
Scientist
is an insensitive cock 
Country
might be a bit euthanasia-happy
Man’s
inhumanity to man continues apace 
Nudes
in brief: Georgio Armani 
And
finally: stay the fuck out of the ebola tree! 
Reading the news
so you don’t have to… 
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