The news in brief:
Singer is even blunter than The news in brief…
Degenerate thug is new contender for cunt of the year
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
General public are judgemental bastards
Mother is pretty fucking old
Controversial film is controversial
Muffin does look quite a bit like a hamster
Study states the obvious: shoplifting on the rise during
extended period of benefit cuts and wage freezes
Calm down lads: page 3 is still right there between page 2
and page 4 – we checked!
Strong-minded, confident, well-paid women suddenly out of
work
Old woman has more money than you
Flat is really fucking expensive
Politician is literally full of shit
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Mega-fan unveils The
hobbit in brief
Thief not very good and thieving
School’s priorities are pretty skewed
Exactly how long has a short-back-and-sides been
inappropriate hair for school?!
Google/Skynet unveils its first Terminator
Having a lie-in will kill us all
Doctor forgets how to person
Nudes in brief: Kelly Bensimon
And finally: study recommends telling your boss exactly
where they can shove it
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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