The news in brief 2nd November 2014

The news in brief celebrity special:

Shock: two consenting adults share a quick kiss in a supermarket!

Couple goes outside together

Woman has abdominal muscles

Man’s clearly athletic physique apparently not worth mentioning

Newspaper disapproves of woman’s fashion choices

Paparazzi intrudes on private moment

Woman wears dress

Celebrity is voted off of reality television show

Celebrity is NOT voted off of reality television show

Woman updates social media

Paparazzi intrudes on family day out

Stop the press: mother caught parenting

Headline suggests woman is in the wrong for NOT wearing a sexy Halloween costume?!

Woman conforms to media’s narrow definition of beauty

Woman wears clothes appropriate to the weather

Outrage: actress goes outside without wearing make up (how very dares she?!)

   

Newspaper approves of woman’s sexy Halloween costume

Footballer has wicked sense of humour

Maybe she wouldn’t have to cover her head with a blue jumper if newspapers stopped paying paparazzi for ‘woman walks through car park after eating out’ pictures. Arseholes.

Woman failed to conform to media’s narrow definition of beauty

Nudes in brief: Jade Thirlwall

And finally: singer should have charged the spider rent…

Reading the ‘news’ so you don’t have to…