The news in brief:
Mad suggestion that we should help people with a mental
illness BEFORE they hurt people
Apparently, average reader only manage first sentence before
getting angry and commenting 
Internet literally full of ignorant cunts   
No really – guns do kill people 
Media helps propel self-fulfilling prophecy 
Ebola!  
Minor customer service issue handled appropriately by
supermarket is somehow news 
I know it’s not Sunday but ‘Man uses public transport’ 
Study states the obvious: junk food is bad for you 
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace 
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount 
Government clearly hasn’t seen Winter Soldier yet…
Sleeping naked will save us all! 
Nobody wants to lend money to far-right crackpots 
Medieval justice system ruins another life
The whole Internet loses its shit over another trailer 
Nudes in brief: Carmen Electra 
And finally: Earth tries to eat Australia
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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