The news in brief:
Breaking news: man had opinions about stuff
Politician apparently psychic
Economy a bit less shit
Experts suggest we should stop bitching about retirement and
work ‘til we drop
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Study states the obvious: chic peas are good for you
Scots celebrate with chips
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Old man is a total legend
People act like pricks on the Internet
The attention-seeking hyper-bitch may be a bile-spewing
hate-wizard, but that’s un-fucking-called for
Fresh new tidal wave of immigration scaremongering
Product placement is not news
New smart pen is probably witchcraft
People are either gullible or stupid
Surprise, surprise, happy couple have a lorra lorra years
together
Astronomers suspect Unicron
Gay neon sailors will save us all
Brave woman shows us that justice doesn’t have a use-by-date
Getting the snip may be getting the snip
Pro tip: mobile phones are not an internal organ
Nudes in brief: Hannah Ferguson
And finally: not all human beings are selfish bellends after
all
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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