The news in brief:
Earth loses an actor; Heaven gains a collection of spores
and fungus
Olympics probably not fixed
Girl doesn’t live up to society’s impossible standards
Pilot good at his job
News outlet about five weeks behind everyone else
Minor inconvenience forces people to talk to each other
Business makes money
Study states the obvious
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Fan has too much time on his hands
Adverts are news now?
Man unhappy with terms and conditions
Media always happy to indulge in a spot of blackmail
Two women look slightly similar
Man’s distant ancestors have no impact on his beliefs
Story has surprise twist
Vegetables are good for you
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Newspaper wins award for most tasteless diagram ever
Prince Philip still awesome
Nudes in brief: Jasmine Waltz
Man ready for Greenhill Zone
Woman alters her face for bullies
You-know-who case in the papers again, despite no new
information
Love finds a way
Diana Watch 2014: probably still dead
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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